We Made Out in a Tree and This Old Guy Sat and Watched Us

Overheard in a parking garage, one man speaking to another:

” … but we’ll never know, because cows don’t live long enough.”

Overheard on BYU campus, spoken by two girls who were running past the eavesdropper:

Girl 1: Don’t you feel dumb running?
Girl 2: I don’t feel dumb, I feel unique. Everyone here is a Mormon, but I am a running Mormon.

Spoken by a college student when asked by her professor what had made the last test such a hard one:

“Maybe if I had come to class more and read the book I would have done better on the test.”

Spoken during a heated argument in which a person was accused of being self-centered:

“You’re the only one who thinks you’re as cool as you think you are.”

(From the contributor: “This is a transcript of a conversation that took place between two guys (call them ‘Bro’ and ‘Braugh’) sitting on two separate toilets, separated by a stall in a BYU Fine Arts Building restroom. They didn’t say a word to each other until they’d sat down in their respective stalls. I was in the middle stall, and I didn’t know what else to do but write everything down verbatim.”)

Bro: I ran for 52 minutes.
Braugh: I benched 290. (pause in conversation) This dude was working out today–you follow football last year? Running back — Mc … McSomethingorother … Mc … Mc…
Bro: White guy?
Braugh: No … McKenzie.
Bro: Yeah, he’s a brother.
Braugh: Yeah, big guy.
Bro: Was he benching it?
Braugh: Dude, he was doing reps.
Bro: Oh, yeah. McKenzie. He was a big guy, wasn’t he?

(”And with that, they stopped talking, finished their business, and left.”)

From a school essay written by a sixth grader named Leticia:

“The sun is over 3 billion years old, and scientists predict that it will continue to get older for many years to come.”

From an article on Postnet.com:

Regarding the Amazon.com/Barnes & Noble case:

“This is the first significant e-commerce patent fight to reach this appeals court, which is the last and often final stop before the U.S. Supreme Court,” said Brad Wright, a patent attorney at Banner & Witcoff.

From a CNN.com article posted on Sept. 28, 2000:

Regarding a client who had been arrested while on probation, attorney Russell Gioiella said, “Up until now, he hasn’t had the slightest anything go wrong or anything be untoward.”