The following is the eleventh installment in an ongoing list kept by the contributor and his roommates and friends:
151. You’re The Gap That Bridges Junctions
152. If It Weren’t For Friction, We’d All Be Dead Right Now
153. She’s Turning Into More Of A Person And Less Of A Chihuahua
154. I’m Going Skating, Except For The Skating Part
155. I Like Being The Roommate That You Pretend To Be
156. You’re Always Throwing Salsa At The Lightbulbs
157. I’m Gonna Die From Both Ends
158. Those Look Like The Balloons We Gave My Dad When He Turned 60
159. She Crochets Leper Bandages
160. I Keep Passin’ the Green Llama-Filled Truck
161. Walking Through Fecal Matter
162. I Wasn’t Pulling Out A Baby, I Was Just Looking Ahead
163. The Future Of Did Is Will
164. 5:44 Isn’t Nine Minutes After Anything
165. However You Harass Robotically
The contributor heard this bit of conversation between two yuppy-looking men after a concert:
I swear, that’s how I have ruined every pair of underwear I own.
Excerpt from the manual for an LG/WINGCOM Wireless Keyboard and Mouse:
-Product Concept
WING MOUSE and WING KEYBOARD is specially designed for the people who need extreme freedom from every cord products. And it is specially designed by the most people. WINGCOM CO. LTD is trying to make better products, and trying to be a specialist of cordless product, and later, WING MOUSE and WING KEYBOARD will be a standard of cordless products.
***
-Installation of reciever unit
Put 2 AA batteries in WING MOUSE. If mouse does not work, remove batteries and put again after 10 seconds. If it does not work after 2 or 3 times trial, check battery.
Put 2 AA batteries in WING KEYBOARD. If keyboard does not work, remove batteries and put again after 10 seconds. If it does not work after 2 or 3 times trial, check battery.
***
-Cleaning mouse ball
For smooth and correct movement, cleaning is important like car. 1. Open ball cover from bottom side of mouse 2. Take out ball from mouse 3. Remove dust from ball with velvet or soft cloth 4. Remove dust from roller with thin alcoholic cotton stick 5. Put ball in mouse and close ball cover 6. Remove dust from foot with soft toothbrush
In the LDS church, stake conference is a semi-annual regional meeting. The choir from the contributor’s ward (local congregation) was asked to sing at the upcoming stake conference. The church bulletin contained the following announcement:
Our ward has been invited to sin for Stake Conference.