(From the contributor: “I was dating a girl named Kristy, and the ups and downs of that relationship affected my journal entries for the worst. I never waxed quite so nauseating as when we were having problems….”)

Saturday, April 15, 2000:
Maybe I try too hard, but what else can I do? I am stuck, I love her with all my heart. It will hurt a great deal to wrench her hand that I have placed around my heart and I really don’t want to do that.

Tuesday, April 18, 2000:
…and still I keep my heart open to her as pain and despair fill the void left by my love lost on her.

Wednesday, April 27, 2000:
I asked her what I would do without her and she said “be happy, be successful, have a wonderful family, and make my wife happy.” Choking over the tears I told her I wanted to be happy with her, and I wanted to be successful with her, and I wanted to have a wonderful family with her, and that I wanted to make her happy.