We Made Out in a Tree and This Old Guy Sat and Watched Us

The contributor found the following note on the floor in the Jesse Knight Humanities Building at Brigham Young University. This is Audrey’s transcription, with spelling, capitalization, and everything else intact. Items in [brackets] are descriptions of drawings, etc. “GPG” stands for Green Pen Girl, and “BPG” stands for Blue Pen Girl.

GPG: can I be distRacting?

BPG: please do… what does this have to do w/ math anyway?

GPG: exactly - like how the only pen I could find is gReen & has no cap?

BPG: beautiful. actually I like the blue & green together. ¡que lindo! (how
cute!)

GPG: he he he - RemembeR how yesteRday we woRe the same undeRweaR

BPG: oh how could I forget!

GPG: soooo sensitive

BPG: so I had a good talk with Cody last night & I forgot to tell you that I
overheard Hayley saying how much she liked him. TOTaLLy contradicted what
she said to me! ha ha she gets mad @ me for lying to her (when I didn’t) and
then she turns around and blatently lies to me… funny huh?

GPG: people like her make the woRld go Round - well soRta - have you
mentioned next yeaRs living situation? How is Jess? maRRied yet? Liz? I
live dRama lives vicaRiously thRough otheRs

BPG: Jess - talking to the bish tonight Liz - I think she’s going to dRop
make-out tongue Ring boy b/c he won’t go on his mission & I think Hayley
thinks we’re living together next yeaR… boy is she in for a surprise! haha

GPG: Don’t say anything - sign a contRact, move out in the middle of the
night & change youR name

BPG: oh, ok If I get this job - I’m getting a computeR & a cell for sure
[PICTURE OF A SMILEY FACE HERE] & then maybe a caR

GPG: can you heaR me now?

BPG: could your dad hook me up w/a deal? probably not huh?

GPG: I dunno what his poweRs are - he’s a gReat salesman though

BPG: yeah, when I do go to look - I still need cheap cheap cheap

GPG: don’t get cricket

BPG: my only feaR with getting a cell, is that people I don’t like will be
calling me - as of right now people can’t get ahold of me when I’m not home
and I’m not home much. There might have to be a rule that only special
people get my number (like you).

GPG: well obviously I get the coveted #1 speed dial slot - & obviously youR
numbeR doesn’t need to be published on the cover of the daily universe

BPG: [ARROW POINTING TO THE WORDS “DAILY UNIVERSE”] yeah let’s hope not - I
think I’ll keep telling boys that I don’t have a phone b/c then I don’t take
the chance of them stalking me

GPG: I love how you have to woRRy about stalkers and I just woRRy about my
minutes - soooo hot, want to touch the heiny. Do you happen to have the
edited Gladiator oR saving PRivate Ryan. When do you have to leave to
volunteer

BPG: [ARROW POINTING TO “GLADIATOR”] so good! yes!! why? I just have to be
there for an houR… & I have to be to woRk by 3:30 so the sooner I can go,
the betteR I guess. I have to Run a couple errends @ the Wilk (letteR to
Jimbo) & check the bus schedule

GPG: I just need to eat my tuRkey sandwich [SMILEY FACE]

BPG: & I have a PB&J one [SMILEY FACE]

GPG: yippee foR food! HeRes to being fat & happy!

BPG: amen to that! [HERE SHE DREW A PAIR OF GIRLS SIDE BY SIDE, WITH STICK
ARMS AND LEGS, SMILEY FACES, AND A BIG BALL FOR THE BODY, COMPLETE WITH
LITTLE BREASTS DRAWN IN] notice those smilies!

GPG: [HAS NOW DRAWN UNDERPANTS ON THE STICK PEOPLE] nice bum, where you
from? umm - does getting fat = bigger boobs?

BPG: umm yeah! duR that’s why I’m looking forward to getting pregnant…
good ole milk he he we’re the same! umm aRe those still going to fit?

GPG: well buy bigger ones this class is going soooooooo slow

BPG: I know! ah! I love walking down the halls of this building & hearing
everyone speaking Spanish

GPG: then I open my mouth & you must buRst into teaRs with pain [HERE SHE
HAS DRAWN A STICK GIRL IN A FIRE, HOLDING A MATH 110 BOOK. THE PICTURE IS
CAPTIONED “una chica bonita llama Christy” AND UNDERNEATH IT SAYS “CHRISTY’S
HELL.” OFF TO THE SIDE THERE IS AN ARROW AND THE WORD “flames,” UNDER WHICH
BPG HAS THEN WRITTEN “fuego.”]

GPG: un oh - I just spled odium

BPG: me too!

GPG: Funny how these hateful feelings well up inside of me

BPG: I know! she’s not even cute!

The contributor’s brother wrote an essay, apparently about the Teapot Dome Scandal. The following is an excerpt:

Albert Fall [Secretary of Inerter] or he’s in charge of natural recourses. Since he makes $12,000 and he fixed his ranch, and since he brought land worth $125,000 so that doesn’t make sense.

Fall sold government property to oil companies. He sold it for thousands of dollars in cash, bonds, and lives stock. This will be known as the Teapot Scandal.

He was fined $100,000 dollars

The contributor found several essays with the same opening line on some computers at his high school. They were apparently part of some creative writing exercise. He has archived some of the more interesting ones on this site:

http://un.20m.com/matrian.html

A website devoted to haikus honoring actor Paulo Costanzo:

http://www.bol.ucla.edu/~peijean/haikus.html

Sample from the site:

I want to see you,
Sweet, scrawny Canadian,
Come over tonite.
~Peijean Tsai

Overheard in grocery store:

Me and my brother are no more alike than if we were two different people.

The contributor and her boyfriend were sitting on a bench along a tree-lined path at a zoo. They were people-watching, and they witnessed one group and overheard their conversation as follows:

Lady 1: I’m super duper ready to kick someone’s ass!
Lady 2: I hate these f***ing trees.

The following poem, entitled “Library Born,” was written in honor of the new Kellogg Library on the campus of Cal State University, San Marcos. That’s right — free-form poetry to honor a library. Originally printed at http://library.csusm.edu/about/poem.asp:

Mammoth steel skeleton gazing from the hill,
Rising above the flagpoles,
Hissing flames sealing metal joints,
Zig zag stairs with alligator teeth climbing,
Floor upon floor upon floor,
Empty
Rectangular spaces open to construction,
Sea breezes whistling through hammering,
Roof top steel arms, uplifted,
Celebrating

Soon there will be priceless jewels encased in
this castle,
Carpeted walkways twining to the sky,
Glassy eyes opening to the world around,
Keyboards softly whispering ideas,
Minds Soaring,
Shelf upon shelf upon shelf of
Books
Nourishing hearts and spirits with magical
powers to question, create, solve, dream,
University Gem

by Sandra Castañon

From an article in USA Today on July 23, 2003, entitled “Cutting-edge science creates stain-free pants“:

“People are saying, ‘Geez, this isn’t Star Trek yet, this is just pants that don’t stain,’ but you’ve got to start somewhere,” said Howard Lovy, news editor of the nanotech industry journal Small Times. “I’m wearing nano-pants as we speak.”

From the play “Muerte en el barrio,” by Alfonso Sastre, whom the introduction describes as “one of Spain’s leading contemporary dramatists”:

Genoveva: Bésame.
Luis: ¿Qué dices?
Genoveva: (Le ofrece los labios.) Bésame.
(Luis la besa.)
Luis: Estoy enfermo. Puedo contagiarte.
Genoveva: Te quiero.

In English:

Genoveva: Kiss me.
Luis: What did you say?
Genoveva: (Offers him her lips.) Kiss me.
(Luis kisses her.)
Luis: I’m sick. I might infect you.
Genoveva: I love you.

A sign outside a cafe in Safita, Syria: