Overheard on the campus of the University of Texas:

–”Did I tell you about that guy? He was smoking weed out of an apple.”

–”It’s like Chinese brain-torture or something.”

–”Your hair is a hat that you wear all the time.”

–Girl talking on cell phone: “I’m bored out of my cotton-pickin’ mind.”

–Metaphysics professor: “Hyphens are going out with the horse and buggy.”

–”Do y’all still have bears there? Do you still keep them in a big ol’ pit?”

–A guy asks his unresponsive companion these questions as if checking off a list: “Do you have any purple socks? Hairnet? Class ring?”

–An exasperated girl talking on cell phone: “I was about to go Freddy” (said as if “Freddy” is an adjective).