The following is the ninth installment in an ongoing list kept by the contributor and his roommates and friends:

  1. He’s Harder Than A Real Dog

  2. Grand’s Not A Number, It’s A Golden Retriever
  3. I’m Always A Step Ahead Of My Burritos
  4. An Empty Beer Cooler Is A Lonely Place
  5. Are All Adopted Guys Gay? (Or Just That One)
  6. The Harder You Think, The Softer I Get
  7. He’s Beating The Cheese With A Frying Pan
  8. He’s Pee Wee Herman Twice Removed (Or Something)
  9. There’s No Buddhists To Take Care Of Me In Idaho
  10. I’m Gonna Be Crazy Like My Mom When I’m Old
  11. I Never Knew How Dark My Hair Was Till I Saw It On The Floor
  12. You Always Take Away My Choo Choo Train
  13. I May Take Up Fire Breathing
  14. You Can’t Punch A Plate Into A Computer
  15. Boiling Water Shouldn’t Make A Stank